Video Notes: Stop Being the Nice Guy
A lot of times i find my self watching these "motivational" videos, and i think yeah thats pretty useful to watch that, and then i forget what i watched. So i thought if i write some notes in my own words about the points of this video that i could go back later and re-read then watching these videos might not be such a waste of time.
These are my quick notes on the video main points that i found, you may watch this video and get something totally different. Let me know in the comments. Hopefully this will make the video more lasting in your and my mind.
I know this video looks like a click bait type of video, so i thought i would break it down a bit. They dont really mention how not to do as the title suggests "Stop Being the Nice Guy". They just say if you are nice then you should try and do the opposite.
Video Notes
You have to be careful if you are too agreeable that you dont get exploited.
You need to learn the ability to negotiate on your own behalf.
If you are too agreeable sometimes you dont even know what you want and its much easier to go with what others want, and you get so used to doing that that you dont forge your own path. You have to say what you think and tell the truth about what you think.
There will be things that you think are nasty and harsh, but these are also probably true so you need to voice these opinions. This will be hard because agreeable people do not like conflict.
Agreeable People
Agreable people do not like conflict so will go to great lengths to keep the peace and not rock the boat. Keeping the peace.
It takes a lot of conflict to solve problems in the short term so if this is avoided then the conflict does not get solved. If this short term conflict is then avoided then nothing will be solved for the long term strategy.
Disagreeable and Socialized can be quite a force.
Kids and Social Acceptance
You have to get your child to be socially acceptable by the age of 4. As a parent that is your job. At the age of 3-4 you want the child to be able to interact with other children and adults so they want to play with him or her and the adults are happy to see the child and treat him or her properly.
Simple Rules of Behavior:
Dont interupt adults when they are talking.
Pay attention when people are talking to you or giving instructions.
Dont hit other kids
Share and Play properly.
Then they socialize each other.
If they dont get in on the socilization early then they miss out on all the socialization experiences.
Men and Creativity
Creativity spike is 16-25 in men, This is also the highest criminal activity as they are thinking of ways to game the system so to speak. Testosterone levels raise the level of aggression in men.
Opposing Views
Its very useful to get opposing views to your own because they will tell you things you dont know and tell you how you can see the world in different ways. For example an extroverted person.
Get the person to do something else for someone every day, to stop them being selfish.
Change to the Opposite
If you want to addapt your self you need to find a way to develop your current skills. For example if you are hyper extroverted then you should probably learn to shutup at parties and listen just to see what is going on. People dont realise this about themselves.
If you are introverted then you should learn to speak in public and to learn how to go to parties with out hiding in the corner and saying nothing to anyone...
If you are agreeable you need to learn to be disagreeable so people cant push you around. And the opposite for disagreeable people.
If you are too conciencece you have to time to let go a bit, but then the opposite also applies.
Find someone who is similar to your own temprament.
Dont look for someone who is exactly the same as your self.
